21.09.09

...back home...and praing that time will pass fast 'till i will see my love again....


home but everything seems so weird ... I can not find my place everything seems so different ...the city is no longer the same ...seems familiary and foreign at the same time ...have only been 2 days but i miss him verry much...and is just the beginning...I do not know what was in his mind when he see me leaving...i don't even turn to see him one more time,i wish i will.but i was afraid that if i do something like that i will not have the power to get on the plane...I wonder what would have done if I have got off the plane and I would have said that I could not go ...if he will just know how hard it was for me to stay there and what emptiness i feel since he is far away...


14.09.09

...strange feeling...happy but at the same time sad...

i'm happy and sad at the same time ... sounds weird no???...i'm happy because next to him seems like nothing matters, he gives me power and i feel that everything is possible ... but I have and an inner sadness when I remember that soon we will be far apart ...I always wanted the time to go slow butthinking about the time i will be away from my half I want time to pass so fast like our thought ...


9.09.2009

4 months today.i'm in France for more then two weeks and i have less then other 2 to go back home far away for the one how give me strength to carry one.i like to have him close in every single moment and i don't want to think at that day when i will must get in that plane how will take me far away who knows for how long one from each other...but i must enjoy the time that we have left...cause he is still beside me verry close actually 0,5m looking at something in his computer...he can just turn around and look at what i write...but he will not do that ;):)

22.08.09

...5...4...3...2...1...


...just finish my luggage..ready to start towards a new destination of this journey called life ... emotions, hopes and prayers that everything goes well ... but let's not forget the most important thing ... the one for who i decided to choose this destination ...to be close to him one more month ... I love you JC!!!!!...:*:*:*:X:X:X

11.08.09

..countdown ...


decision is taken ...accompanying him on this journey ... he is headed back home I go to an unknown destination...but i have all my trust in him... he is everything to me and if I will be with nothing matters ... the only thing I need to smile ... and I think that is enough



13.07.09


...If I had to live without you, what kind of life would that be?...I need you in my arms, need you to hold,...You're my world, my heart, my soul,...and tell me now how do I live without you?...I want to know, how do I breathe without you?...:-<


...i must take the most important decision from my whole life ...let you go or to go with you ???... but if I let you go alone you will return ???... if not what should I do???...just as I think that will be far away one from each other i feel that i can breath anymore...

12.07.09

...love is like the wind...you can't see it but you can feel it...


"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have prophetic powers,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but have not love,
I am nothing.

If I give away all I have,
and if I deliver my body to be burned,
but have not love,
I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind;
love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude.

Love does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love never ends;
as for prophecies, they will pass away;
as for tongues, they will cease;
as for knowledge, it will pass away.

For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect;
but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away.

When I was a child,
I spoke like a child,
I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child;
when I became a man,
I gave up childish ways.

For now we see in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face.
Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully,
even as I have been fully understood.

So faith,
hope,
love
abide, these three;
but the greatest of these
is love.

Chapter Thirteen of St. Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians"

.. when you say you love wait a minute to think ... if you feel what is described above,your love is true love...the love can't be seen but our actions can show that it exists...


2.07.09


I learned ...
"I learned you can not make someone
love you;
All you can do is to be love.
The rest ... depends on others.
I learned that no matter how much I care ,
Others there can not care.
i learned that it takes years to build confidence
And that in only a few seconds you could lose.
I learned that no matter what you have in life
But who you have.
I learned that your charm can help you
about 15 minutes;
After that, however, you'd better know something.
I learned that you must not compare with what can make others better,
But with what you can do;
I learned that no matter what's happening to other
people
But matter what can I do to help them
I learned that no matter how you cut it,
Everything has two sides;
I learned that you must break up with your loved ones
with warm words;
It could be the last time you see them;
I learned that you can continue another time
After you said you can not continue anymore;
I have learned that heroes are those who are doing what must be done,when must be done,
without thiking of consequences;
I learned that there are people who love you,
But dosen't know to show it;
I learned that when we are angry
i have the right to be angry,
But I don't have the right to be mean;
I have learned that true friendship continues to exist even if you are far away from each other
And that goes for true love too.
I learned that if someone does not love you like you
would like ,
dosen't mean that he don't loves you with all his heart.
I learned that, no matter how good is a
friend,
However he will hurt from time to time,
And you must forgive him for it.
I learned that it is not always enough to be
forgiven by others;
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself
I learned that, regardless of how much you are suffering,
The world will not stop for your pain.
I learned the past and circumstances
may influence
personality,
But that YOU are responsible for what you become;
I learned that if two people arguing, not
Means that dosen't love each other
And if we do not argue that it does not prove that
we love.
I learned that sometimes you have to put the person on
first place
And his actions;
I learned that two people can look the same thing
And see something totally different;
I learned that, regardless of consequences,
Those who are honest with themselves get more
far in life;
I learned that your life can be changed in a
few hours
By people who did not know you.
I learned that when you think you got nothing to give,
When a friend is calling you , you will find the power in you to
help.
I learned that writing, like speech,
It can calm the soul pain;
I learned that people that you love the most are taken too soon ...
I learned that it is too hard to tell
Where to draw the line between being friendly, not hurt
people and support your views.
I learned to love
for me to can be loved. "