If I will fall in love again!!!

22.04.09
"…He llorado en soledad, y he reido frente a ti, pero no puedo ocultar, que sin ti no soy feliz...Sigue vivo tu recuerdo me hace daño si te pienso estoy triste pero estoy de pie...cada vez que vuelvo a verte no lo niego aún me duele pero sé que un día estaré bien..."
"…I’ve cried when I was alone and I’ve laugh in your presence, but I can’t denied , that without you I can be happy…your memory is still alive and it’s hurts to think of you…I’m sad but I’m on my foot…every day that I see you I can’t deny it still hurts but I know that one day I will be fine…"
The Easter period…the time that we met and sheer a lot of memories together…it’s still feel strange …but not the same…I guess I’m just starting to fell fine…yes now I can see me without seeing him I can see my dreams ,my objectives ,now i start to leave again and I promise myself to don’t fall in love again like a stupid If I will fall in love again I will not do it without thinking as before ,will be for deeds and not words randomly I prefer to be alone instead to be once more wrong only with love will open the doors of my heart convince me that if is not just crossing through my life he will never miss my arms, he must win my trust and not ever lie to me,to never make me cry. It will not be worth saying that you love me if I don’t hear the voice of your soul assuring that at last I can fall in love

happy new year!!!...2008-2009

30.12.08
soon this year will be over. another year that comes to an end and what have we done.?did we make real all the dreams or at least the projects that we have for this year???? How many can be proud at what they have realized in this year who just get at the end???...
for me this time of the year is special I feel magic floating in the air .but this time is fool and of nostalgia because another year of our life ends and is time to reflect(one more and others less)at what do we realized in this year our successes and failures the perspective with what we started this year and we managed to achieve during.is the time in which we must fix our objectives for the next year and in this way is how we conclude such a stage in our life and we start another one. This time of the year is a time for presents but is and the time when you remember and old friends and we visit our familiars ,meetings full of memories of times past.

Happy Ending???

>23.09.08(deep thoughts)

If i must think about my present life and i had to describe it in one word this will be :nightmare. sometimes in moments like this i look around me to see the others misfortune so i can be grateful for what i have but in the end i still take pity on me. few days ago i find out something about a person close to me who i consider upright and i feel disappointed. after this when i was talking with somebody i couldn't without ask my self if is telling the truth or if has second thoughts. is strange to be with persons that you know from so long and ask your self if you really know them .Life in generally is strange …are moments who seems to never end when nothing happened and moments when the things that happen are to much. two days ago i find about somebody’s life a life unhappy I didn't know this person personally but i really wish i have .it's amazing how a person can have so much and in the same time to don’t have anything.
I don’t know if is better to have a professional life and don’t care about your personal life…but i want for me in generally above all to have someone close to my heart …someone that cares for me and care for him too…the life in loneliness doesn’t have sense for me…you need someone like a reason for living… you will think that I’m speaking about a life partner but to be honest in this precise moment I don’t really think of this kind of person…who knows maybe…but for now I feel just fine like the way I am…I don’t want or maybe I’m scare to start care for someone again and to pass again for be the only one who cares…now I have something else in my mind when I think about my future life…but who know what can happen tomorrow …

I like to write but always what I write was just for my. i never let anybody to read it. but now I decide to write to the world. In this blog isn’t just the story of my life are my thoughts and the things I like too but I will start this blog whit a story about a butterfly and a rose ;)… "There was once upon a time a rose. the rose always used to be happy nothing seems to make her sad. she believed that the world was at her feet and there was no impossible for her. she was a happy rose until one day when she realized that there was a butterfly that makes her happier and that she had feelings for him, but never imagine that those feelings were so big and him will matter so much to her. She didn’t give those feelings much importance she didn’t even remember when she sow him for the first time and when all this feeling start. The rose thought these feelings will soon disappear if she will stop see him. and when the rose was cut and give away she was thinking :”now I will be far away for him and I will not see him anymore and soon all this will be just a memory .i will forget about this beautiful butterfly maybe I will see others more beautiful and he will be erase from may memory for ever.” After a while when the rose was in the market waiting that someone will buy her and she almost forget about the beautiful butterfly the butterfly fly above the rose. The rose was in shock but at the same time was happy to see him again.the hole time that the rose was in the market the butterfly was passing by more times and the rose was so happy to se him passing so many times that’s why she consider this must be the destiny that make him fly above her so many times. With this believe she aboard him but the butterfly very carefully reject the feelings of the rose. her pain was so big that the beauty of the rose was wilting.

14.10.2008

Two years know since I know this feelings doesn’t have any sense…and even if I know this I can’t stop have this feelings…yes it’s true for a month and a half was better and I was thinking all this is just a history…something that it will remain buried in my memory…today was really a good day…I even go out with my friend’s to celebrate my birthday…and I don’t know why now that I’m alone here in my room his memory through a life again…they say that the love that you feel for someone can’t vanish in a second but I’m fighting against this feeling for a long time now sometimes I believe that I will never win this battle…there is almost 6 months since I don’t see him and when I believed that I succeed to bury him somewhere in the past all this are coming back to me…maldita mi suerte

It is said that the first love is forever and that the first is the true love and that others are just to forget the firs one .... sometimes I ask myself if I had my first love and if I will never forget him? ... and now I’m only at that stage when I can realize that it doesn’t hurt that much but my love is still here and never will go completely and just a gesture or a word will open another wound that will left a scar in heart ... for me maybe doesn’t exist a happy ending ... if you will read these lines never you will know that are dedicated to you ,who wrote it and shadow because for you this is what I was like a shade or maybe just a ghost passing through your life I was invisible till I’ve sad:”hey look I'm here” ... and then you don’t liked what you saw and I was transformed into a shadow ...